True Loneliness
by Conrad1998
Summary: Russia, Illness has gotten to far, it controls him completely, and no one knows..but one. this she-wolf his is only cure and follows his ever crying and calling voice OCX? May have yaoi.Rated T for swearing, may go to M for future chapters, not sure yet. DISCONTIUNE
1. Chapter 1: Game: Start

True loneliness 

What happens when Russia has this Illness that has started to take whole control and his weakness are doing no help getting to stop from killing, hurting and turning his back to his friends making him run away until this wolf, this she-wolf comes in his life, no longer does he listen to this hunting voice, can this she-wolf help and get Russia on his feet again? And this she-wolf has her own secret, what could it be?

Authoress notes: Okay in this Russia will be OOC, since the story about him being control another force most his life and that. And this may be a RussiaXOc but it could be anyone if you put it in the review. Okay I know many other stories I done are failed but I'm hoping this is better and my character isn't Mary-sue. Well thank you for looking into this and I hope you enjoy...one more thing: I do not own Hetalia, none of the characters, or the songs quotes. All I own is my OC's.

Chapter 1: Game: start...

"_Memories consume_  
_Like opening the wound_  
_I'm picking me apart again_  
_You all assume_  
_I'm safe here in my room_  
_Unless I try to start again__"_-Linkin Park- Breaking The Habit

Russia had been cruel to start with, however that was the course of loneliness, being in that huge white snow, damp and cold, but no company made him that , quite impossible to make a fire and crazy, weird sisters. Neither dad nor mum were ever there, his sisters did their own thing or one would bother him, but there wasn't real company in his childhood. He likes the sunflower because it remained him of the sun, the sun he never really saw in his dark world, black and white, no hope and slowly he heard things, voices. Voices that brought company to his so lonely life, deep dark hunting voices at the start he would cry and would cover his ears, with a "LEAVE ME ALONE!"He'll yell, but no one was around to check on him, to see him. His world was dark, deep and full of the supernatural.

Maybe that why he never made mockery of England magic or seeing things. He cursed, he heard voices, so what could he do to make mockery of the man?, there no point because he partly knew the feeling. But however Russia had it bad, he abused the Baltic's because of the pain, because these voices enjoy it and took over.

There Russia stood in front of that old mirror, staring thought the cracks, and looked at himself; a rare frowned upon his face, his empty purple iris and his ever grey white hair. His coat on the hanger on the door, his brown gown covers himself, a bandage around his head since the accident; he stared at the mirror longer. The room absences from the light, the curtains block it so but the window open to bring in the cold winter night. His bed a mess, the bed sheets across the bedroom floor, the pillow ripped to pieces with the feathers inside covering the place, the desk side knock on the side out of the pain. "Please leave me alone "He whispers grabbing his head, tried of the voices mockery. His door locks from the outside.

"_But we want to play Ivan, we want to play _"the voice whispered, he cried "No, no go away, you had your fun..NOW GO AWAY!"He cried, this is all he knew this room, he never been outside, or see it. How? Because this whole time been a lie, it was the voices, rarely did he see, talk as he truly was like. He hugged himself, he feared himself, a blocks of books across the room, he read them all, each and single one making him want to see the world. To get away. To leave this horrid empty cruel life.

"_Ivan, we want to play, play with those people, they so fun, so fun!"_They sang to him, circling him, hurting him, crushing him. "TORIS!"He cried, he hugged himself, "Help please, anyone-"he was cut off as he fell to the ground with a thud. _"He must not know, yes he must not know of _you_"_ It hissed angrily, there could be feet heard running across the hallway, trying to reach the door. "Please don't, please leave me be" The real Russia whispered as he felt that pain, the voice return and his world return dark.

The world was gone, leaving his grip, his heart ripped, torn and ever so painful inside as it tries to follow it own voice however it cannot stop listening to other voice orders. Russia cry, shouted and scream in his brain, left and trapped inside. "Please stop hurting them, stop it, please, please "He cried banging on the ground floor "Please "He pleaded, his eyes red shot, he felt the hit, the gun and the voices. "PLEASE!"_**Someone save me...**_

_-*SOME WHERE FAR FAR AWAY*-_

Snow fell like rocks, the storms push anything back away in it rage. The land was impossible to see; all there was white, grey and white. There was no light, just pure darkness, the only light was from the ever falling snow, however it was dangerous to wonder thought it. You had to be ever strong and brave to adventure though it, to push though with one thing on mind, it would take weeks, moths to get through it.

Yet a creature of nature dare to wonder it hunting life of snow, it walked, keep pushing. It never gave up. A blur in the snow, a shadow that pushed on with a mission on mind. This creature, left her pack behind, left her family, her life to find this persons calls, this someone that called for her. She didn't stop, gritting her purely white teeth, her white fur her only warmth though it all, her blues eyes sparkled with hope and bravery and wisdom that she had keep since the start of her travels alone.

_**PLEASE! Someone save me...**_

Her ears moved to find where it came from and pushed onwards, "_I'll find you, child"_ She said in wolf. This she-wolf had been travelling for a year now, to find this person that called for her all her whole life since she was born. Her paws ached from travelling though the storm, but she couldn't always stop, she had to save this person. Tiredly she looks for a place to stop and rest at however she couldn't find nor see anything that wasn't snow. She slump down to rest for a bit, to catch her breath, she swallow a bit snow for water even if it cold that was all she had to live on for now until the storm calmed down. She stood up and walked on again.

The fight to keep going, to keep moving. A tree was up ahead, broken and torn down from the storm. She smiled and ran as fast she could though the snow. "_Shelter!_" she shouted in happiness. She soon arrived and settled under but couldn't help seeing a young man sleeping under that tree. The person rubbed his green eyes, "Bloody hell, I'm must be seeing things "he said staring at the wolf that sat under the tree tried next to him. She smiled understanding his words, "I'm real human" She replied simply in their tongue, as though it natural. The man eyes widen "Did-Did you just talk?"He asked amazed. The wolf smiled "If I did not talk, then what am I doing?"She asked. He stares in awe, "you're talking, love" He replied moving a bit of blonde hair out of his eyes.

She sighed, she fell on her side, and the man noticed the tiredness from fighting the storm. He picked up a blanket out of his bag and put it upon the now sleeping she-wolf. He noticed a silver collar around the wolf neck, seeing a name upon it in bold. "Christina, My name is Arthur "he whispered.

Authoress notes: I hope you enjoyed, if you want me to carry on please review, please fav and follow. Thank you for looking at this, and if you have any questions then put them on the review and they're be replied to on the next chapter! and if there any silly mistakes or spelling miss please point them out please and don't just say 'there are some spelling mistakes..blah blah', please at lest say 'in paragraph five and six there are some spelling mistakes', you understand? yes? good. thank you!


	2. Chapter 2: Game: Find

True loneliness 

Chapter 2: Game: find 

Authoress notes: well I did right after the first was posted and been working on this I hope you enjoy, and remember Russia will be OOC, so don't get mad it part of the story. Oh and another thing, thank you 'Otaku Kyari' for being my first reviewer! One more thing: I do not own Hetalia, none of the characters, or the songs quotes. All I own is my OC's"

"_Everyday we just keep going through the motions and we don't know why  
Seems like we never stop to take the time to know this life as it goes by  
But there's a whole world out there, it's a miracle to see -  
Like the colors of the rainbow, it's a living symphony"-This is a Beautiful World-pokemon._

Christina pov.

I had awoken to feel a warm fabric on top of me. I look over the side to see the young man, didn't he call himself Arthur? Oh well I'll be able to find out later. I shook the fabric of and nuzzled the human, "Wake up, the storms stop this be the best time for you to move on as well "I told him, he grumble but got anyway. "Thanks, love" he replied putting the blankets and that in his bag and taking something out of his bag, he had some sort of can out. "What that for?"I asked interested, he looked at the can and open it to have cold bake beans inside. "Oh my breakfast in this "he said as he eats the bake beans with a 'spoon'.

My stomach growled from hunger, and I blushed slightly. "Hungary love?" he asked and I nodded, he smiled and brought out something like a sandwich with meat in the middle. "A friend of mine try and make eat a hamburger, but I don't really like them, but I think you'll like the meat" he said giving me this hamburger. I eat it quite quickly. "Thank you very much "I told him, I had gone without food for two days now and that was refreshing. "Sir, where are you going?"I asked him, he looked up from his food and finish his bit of beans. "I'm going to the town over "he said pointing in the direction the voice came from. I thought to myself if I should go with this human.

"Can I come with you as that the way I am going as well sir?"I asked, he may be a bit of help because If they think I'm own by him they won't try and kill me. He stops to think and then nodded "That be alright with me "He said calmly, I nodded thankfully.

"Well let get going then!"

_3__rd__ person pov._

Russia lay on the floor in his room breathing hard, blood up his arm, he was sweating and was tried, yet he didn't know how this happen, how it got him to do such a foul thing. He looks at the blood that took over the used to be feather floor."So much red, too much of it "Russia whispered as he cried, he huddle himself together. _"That was fun, wasn't it? Wasn't it? We got him this time, we got him! We got him!"_The childish like voice sang happily. Russia or Ivan as he liked to call himself, cried, he cried his heart out. "That wasn't fun! That horrid, cruel. Are you the devil or something?"He shouted wanting an answer this time, yet it said the same thing

"_I am universe, I am earth, I am heaven and hell, I am the _Truth _and lastly I am _**you**" the voices sang, as though it was in some kind of horror show. A figure in the corner of the room, there it stood, it sat there watching carefully smiling at him before disappearing, once again in front of his eyes.

A hand touch Ivan's shoulders as it whispered "_but everyone calls me Truth"_ It hissed in his ear making him trembled with fear.

He stood up and looked around to feel no longer the strangers hand, nor was the feel of the voices near. He stop to think for one second, "So Truth, what are you really?"He really wanted to know yet nothing, 'It' wasn't here and he smiled and sighed. "I'm free for a bit"

Then the wind blows thought the curtains to show light from the outside, the window was open. He walked over to open it more, he thought about escaping, oh how many times he thought of it, but the Voices, Truth always stopped him. Now alone he could and he was going to take this advantage. He looked back to the locked door, the crying of the other, he knew he was no longer welcome or know as human with no soul or heart. He wishes to go up to them and say sorry and tell them the truth of his 'Illness', but he knew that was way too late.

"No looking back now, da? (Yes?)"He asked himself as he pushed the window wide and started to go out when the door turned, the door slowly creaked open. "W-where are you going, M-Mr. Russia?"Came a shy, totally afraid voice."Somewhere far away from here "he replied and Jumped out the window, luckily his room was on the bottom floor.

He speed of on his feet, he knew he should've put his Jacket on but he didn't know how much time he had until 'it' came back to get him. He knew he should've had his bandage done but he knew someone will help him as long he doesn't get put back in that room. He felt soft white stuff lay upon him and he smiled slightly, "So this is what snow is, da?"He asked looking around as he ran; the cold air was fresh and new to him. He didn't want to stop nor turn back. He was free, free from _there. _

He never stopped, he ran passed house after house. However he did stop at shops to quickly nick a fruit to eat and moved along. He smiled as he bites into an orange; he had now calmed down and was far away from his Jail. He watched the people talk, laugh and have fun, but when they saw him they moved along, some looked in fear others just stared. He sighed; nobody liked him here that was for sure. He shivered but moved on knowing to keep warm is to keep moving. He looked around again to see anything new or only read off, which all he saw was his bedroom which isn't much. So this was all new to him, even seeing these people. He smiled

"I'm free"

_Christina pov._

We had been walking for a couple of hours now. I sniff the air, the town wasn't far now. Arthur had been awfully quiet, "Arthur, where are you from?" I asked him, from the way he looked I knew he wasn't Russian nor from Volga. He stared off in space, he was thinking off something. I tugged his trousers, no reply. Oh he no listening to me? Old little me? I smiled as a plan form.

I stopped as he walked on, when he was far enough I ran and knock him over. "What-Hmpf!" he said as he landed on the snow, I sat on his back "That what you get for Ignoring me "I said, he growled annoyed. "can you get off please?"He asked nicely, I smirked "Nope", silent took over.

His face red as he turned angry, "For bloody hell sack get off me, you fatso!" he yelled angrily. I now got mad at him "I'm not fat!"I replied now annoyed, "Your Just weak". "I'm not weak, I been in many wars, more fights then you'll ever done "He said banging a hand in the icy snow and gave a little "Ouch" and turned to me as best he could being lay on, I smirked and climb off. "I knew you weren't fully human!"I cheered happily, "Your one of those countries". His eyes widen and were about to ask 'how do you know that?' "Easy because of the way you smell, and I met someone that looks a bit like you but you and him act so differently, he's more, well let say...Hyper?" I cut in before he asked. He sighed and mutters "Stupid America "before standing up and brushing himself off from the snow.

"Do you know that snow suits you well, Iggy"I told him teasingly, "Don't call me that!"He shouted but not mad but more in amused way. I smiled "Oh really Iggy? Iggy, Iggy is you, England loses football a lot too, Iggy you see green bunnies do they eat brains?, and you have Imaginary friends!"I sang as I started to run, he chased me "I'll get you back for what you just said!"He yelled and stared chasing me, I just laughed as we ran.

_This is going to be fun!_

Authoress notes: I had fun writing this, I thought we should have a mini fight there at the end, since you think at the start Christina was this mature person, which really is rare but if it strangers you be kind wouldn't you? And anyway, yes Russia gotten out but for how long? Well Review and find out, dude you don't even need account to review so if you like this click on that review button NOW!


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